| Book Contents |
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| Stuck Rubber Baby |
| Howard Cruse New York : Paradox Press 210 pages Copyright 1995 |
| MCMLS Call No. YA F Cru GRAPHIC NOVEL |
| Library Catalog Summary: No description |
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| Library Catalog Subjects: |
| Gay men- Comic books, strips, etc. |
| Civil rights- Fiction |
| United States- Race relations Fiction |
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| THIS BOOK WAS DONATED TO THE MONTGOMERY COUNTY LIBRARY BY THE FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY |
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| Introduction by Tony Kushner |
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Comic books paved the path up to the portals of adulthood, offering sexy and dangerous fantasies in which the sex was present but still subliminal (muscular men in BVDs), the danger grand and improbable enough to be intensely gratifying and yet manageable for a neurotic, rather cowardly gay boy entering early adolescence. |
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Howard Cruse is a pioneer in the field of lesbian and gay comics, an important participant in the underground comics movement, and in my opinion on of the most talented artists ever to work in the form. |
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Howard was a body-and-soul participant in the 60s revolution, which made him an anarchist, or left-libertarian. His politics are the antithesis of doctrinaire; I find his opinions, as expressed in his work, irresistibly attractive, even when I disagree. |
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Its readers will surely find in STUCK RUBBER BABY all manner of richness and depth and value, only one aspect of which is political. |
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Our political leaders these days seem more and more like the caricatures political cartoonists draw. Even a supremely gifted political cartoonist will have trouble exaggerating the malevolence of Gingrich, the manifest instability of Dole, the dithering and waffling of Clinton, the satanic flatulent eructations of Limbaugh. |
| Tony Kushner is the author of Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes, among other plays. |
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| The Book |
| p.2 - I found a nigger magazine in a trash can downtown. Look at this picture
|
| p.2 - If anything, Negro bones are probably tougher, since colored folks are closer to the animal state than we are and have gotten stronger from havin to get by in the wild. |
| p. 3 - Now as far as brains are concerned, its another matter. White peoples brains are more developed, its been scientifically proven. Not that Negroes arent smart! Theyre plenty smart! Theyre slow. But the brains theyve got serve em very well. |
| p. 3 - And I dont ever want to hear you use the word nigger, the way some folks around here do. Its a hateful term, and no creature of God deserves it. |
| p. 5 - I went through a period of looking back and wondering if all that wrestling with Ben was what made me a homo! |
| p. 6 -
that got my a** out to the Lincoln Memorial
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| p.6 - And by the way, if youre confused by the fact that I was courting a girl even though I was a faggot~Well, youre no more confused than I was while I was doing it. |
| p. 6 - Tsk, Tsk! Be a good boy and say gay, Toland, not faggot. |
| p. 6 - I didnt feel gay back then. I felt like a faggot! Youve gotta be at least a little bit un-screwed-up to be gay! Anyway, my intention for quite some time was to turn myself around and not be gay
which I kidded myself into viewing as an option. I subscribed to Playboy and had an absolute rule that I wouldnt let myself masturbate unless I was looking at one of the Centerfold Playmates at the time. I held to that rule for over three years with only a couple of lapses. Wet dreams didnt count. |
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| p. 7 - There was a lot about that time that was fun, especially early on before the s**t hit the fan. |
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| p. 8 -
whereupon, the kid sitting next to me, for reasons known only to him, got a hard-on. |
| p. 9 - Oh, s**t. |
| p. 9 -
and a troublesome memory got triggered of some summer camp horseplay I had engaged in with a cabin mate named Alec back when I was twelve. |
| p. 9 - [The camp counselor advises Toland.] Most boys experiment with their bodies and maybe with their friends bodies too when theyre your age. Its natural curiosity at work
you guys were just letting off steam. |
| p. 11 - Rileys told me how you men get all frustrated when your cum gets backed up in your balls. |
| p. 14 - My job as police commissioner is to defend our citys fine, taxpaying businessmen against the irresponsible actions of a bunch of unruly, malodorous, communist-inspired nigger agitators. |
| p. 17 - The fact is, Sammy scared the s**t out of me. |
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| p.18 - If that cop had shown up any later, hed have had to pry yer poker out of Vicki with a crowbar! S**t, Stony, it was embarrassin. |
| p. 19 - Its Mama and Daddy, Im sure. They float near the ceiling an watch to see if Orley an I are doin it right. |
| p. 21 - Orley an I have sex morning; noon an night, it seems like. And I wont let a rubber in the house.
look at that! Sigh! My baby brother with a rubber at the ready. |
| p. 21 - I didnt tell Melanie that the very condom I was showing her had been tucked away unused in my billfold for what mustve been years by that time
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| p. 23 - Bull**it! There arent any beatniks in Clayfield! |
| p. 25 - S**t! Is it still nice? |
| p. 25 - Take a look at Les an Sammy over there. Id never seen two men doin a slow dance together before
much less one of em white and one of em black. How can Les be a Homo when his Daddys a prominent preacher and all? |
| p. 26 - All of the Dykes an Queens from the Rhombus haul a** out to the Alleysax most Saturdays after closin time. |
| p. 26 - If the choppers bulb wasnt so f**kin dim, he wouldnt get us nearly as much good press as he does. |
| p. 29 - D**n! Everybody thinks that! |
| p. 31 - Its true Id f**ked up our first encounter, but I started mending fences a day or two later by offering to drive her to some auditions that Sammy told me were coming up soon in Atlanta. |
| p. 34 - Hot D**n! Its a f**kin art gallery! This beats the Lovre! |
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| p. 39 - The Rhombus? Ymean the fag bar? S**t! |
| p. 41 - Mr. Tanner? D**n! Youre jokin! |
| p. 42 - My f**kin boss! Holy S**t!! |
| p. 43 - Didnt Toland ever tell you how he was brought up by a heavy-duty religious mama who kept him from dancin in his formative years and left him inhibited for life? S**t, Riley
Thats the last time Ill share complaints about my upbringing with you! |
| p.43 - Well. Hell! Look at those two! They dont give a d**n what anybody thinks! |
| p. 43 - This place has sure gone downhill since they started lettin so many niggers in. |
| p. 44 -My first thought was: who wants to hear bullshit like that? |
| p. 45 - Aint no point to it at all, except to keep the queers nervous. |
| p. 47 - She claims not to miss it, but Les thinks shes bull**tting. |
| p. 47 - Snicker! Its your d**n underbelly hed like a tour of probably! |
| p. 48 - Papas the preacher in the family an Im the faggot. |
| p. 50 - Oh, S**t! |
| p. 52 - Some go**am jerks followed Ginger an her friend all the way from Franks Bend. |
| p. 52 - All I could think of was how stupid we were a nigger agitator from up north an a white southern female, drivin mile after mile through dixie farmland at night with the Klan on our tails. |
| p. 52 - Guns! D**n! |
| p. 53 - This here is our initiation for the Klan. Were just joinin up. We gotta chop off some niggers balls fore theyll let us be members. |
| p. 54 - I aint doin any o your s**t for you. Say, fellas- did the committee say it had to be a grown niggers balls or would some little teeny-tiny ones do as well
? |
| p. 55 - Churches!! Theres no go***mn escape from them down south! |
| p. 56 - Sure! That photograph scared the s**t out of me! |
| p. 57 - The guy who had turned the mike over to Ginger looked like he was about to pee in his chinos. |
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| p. 60 - D**n!
Nobody had ever warned me that if you kept a rubber in your wallet for years on end, it could dry up and stick together so tight that a damn herd of elephants couldnt unroll it! |
| p. 61 - From the way I blew my cool, youd have thought I was the first poor f**ker who ever lost his boner under fire. |
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| p. 61 - I poured everything out to Ginger, explaining how in all probability and despite my best intentions I was a queer. |
| p. 62 -
Like it was so f**kin wonderful that the plan of nature was bein fulfilled by these sweet, straight teenagers, all moon-eyed an horny
An I felt like s**t, cause I knew in my gut as much as I worked at not puttin anything into words that I never be part of that picture. |
| p. 64 - D**n, I woke up tired! Glad Ive got today an tomorrow off. |
| p. 66 - Traitors! White niggers! |
| p. 67 - It dont pay to try an make this s**t up as you go along. |
| p. 68 - Now dont tell me Sammys aimin to waltz over an shoot the s**t with that cop! |
| p. 69 - Go back to Africa, niggahs!
An dont you go spreadin lies about me either, faggot! |
| p. 70 - The ba**ard hit my hand! An he knows how I earn my livin! D**n cop better not swing at me or Ill knock his butt clear to Biloxi!
Come mid-afternoon our a**es were still right there on the grass. It was a hell of a way to spend a Saturday.
Aw, hell, Riley
I cant just do my eyes at the drop of a hat. Ive gotta be in the mood. Cmon, you can do it. I want em to hear your crazy nigger story. |
| p. 72 - all the other niggersd be in the back like anybody with good sense woulda been
Hey, driver! How come yore lettin that nigger sit up there in the front like that?
Jus keep quite an leave er be, mister. That theres a crazy nigger. A crazy nigger! Thats what I was. |
| p. 77 - Hey! Whatcha doin I Niggertown, sonnyboy? |
| p. 79 - It was my first time to set foot in the Rhombus all by myself. Frankly, Id forgotten how dead a d**n bar could be that early in the evening.
I was just enjoyin talkin to you. S**t. Im sorry for leadin you on! |
| p. 80 - Hell, Ill be goin to Alleysax for sure. You can ride with m Oh, Look, its Ire-e-ene! My favorite dyke in the wor-r-rld! I was desperate to marry this woman until I found out her dowry was for s**t! Yep, I got no dowry an Bernards got no c**t! |
| p. 82 - Irene and I roared into the middle of things making as much noise as two queers and a car horn could manage. Scumbags! C**ksuckers! A**holes! Sunzab**ches!
S**t, Claude theres only two of em.
What the hells happenin, Nat? |
| p. 83 - D**n!! Theres a sh**load of niggers comin!
The fun o poppin their nuts off wouldnt be worth the aggravation afterwards. Irene, you hussy! Stop gropin my privates while Im at deaths door! |
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| p. 84 - You oughta sic the cops on those f**kers that jumped you, hon.
Theyd just make fun of me like they always do. Cops are worse to queers than bashers are.
Go**ammit, Toland! we left the phone off the hook on purpose! |
| p. 85 - S**t!
Im not a fag! S**t, guys, I only just met the fella a few hours ago.
Now from what I hear, ol Bernards part of the queer crowd that goes out to the colored nightclub on Saturdays. |
| p. 86 - There was no help to be had from the Wheelery. A busy signal told me that Riley had left the d**n phone off the hook again. |
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| p. 91 - Youre actin awfully frisky today, considerin that twenty-four hours ago you looked d**n near suicidal. |
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| p. 93 - Any chance the relief youre feelin comes from sheddin s boyfriend thats gone queer on you. Go**amn it, Toland! |
| p. 96 - Sometimes I wonder what the fu**in point is, Stony. |
| p. 97 - Soon Ill be tantalizing her ti**ies with shimmering trill-l-l-ls! |
| p. 99 - Orley, thats bulls**t! The woman is trapped!
Were all of us stuck in a go**am cracker box!
we were raised to be crackers! Theres no f**kin way not to be a cracker around here! |
| p. 102 - Who knows how many of em are confused or f**ked up inside? |
| p. 104 - Shed s**t a brick if she knew Esmereldus! |
| p. 105 - D**n, Esmo! I swear I felt the bar shake earlier but I thought it was just my imagination. ..That was one roomful of stunned queers the preacher left behind.
Riley was adamant that we should haul a** back to the Wheelery.
Im tellin ya, theres gonna be a lot of pi**ed-off negroes runnin round town. |
| p. 107 - And when I considered how d**n typical it was of me
I didnt know a d**n one of those freedom chorus kids
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| p. 112 - Holy S**t, Esmo!
Its you an every white bigot in this town that ever used the word nigger! Ydont even have to strike a match, you ba**ard! |
| p. 113 - S**t! |
| p. 114 - Ymight say I underestimated my bosss talent for bulls**t detection. Like hell it is! Aint a d**n thing wrong with your jaw
A degenerate queer on the public airwaves
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| p. 116 - It mustve been a helluva funeral procession, thought. |
| p. 117 - Were fu**ed, guys. |
| p. 118 - I havent helped anybody overcome a f**kin thing!
I admire you an love you an wish to hell I was more like you. |
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| p. 119 - Somewhere along the line I had gotten hard. When youre hard, complicated things can seem simple. And the simple message I was getting from down below was that it would be terrific to spend time inside of Ginger. And Gingers hands and movements were telling me unmistakably that Id be welcome inside. So I nudged, then slid inside and left my worries to fend for themselves. It was a moonlit hour of desire and denial
with neither of us of a mind to get sidetracked by thoughts about condoms
or consequences.
Let it blow away annoying memories of the stuck rubber that had sabotaged us before. |
| p. 120 - D**n! Holy S**t!
F**k you an yer inbred progeny! |
| p. 121 - Yes, go**ammit! An that was a perfectly good ol beat-up used car that I paid perfectly good f**kin money for! S**t! Here comes the preacher man! |
| p. 123 - Youre really being a chickens**t, Edgar. |
| p. 124 - Save yer marshmallows for the crosses we might find burnin in the front yard before this s**ts over! |
| p. 125 - So what goods all that money to Daddy now? Theres nothin left he can do with it but p**s on it just to watch it dry. He hates the fact that once upon some enchanted evening he was screwing my lovely Mom an a silly little fairy sperm came wiggling out of his big, butch d**k. |
| p. 127 - It seemed like everybody in the building was a f**king whiz at doing something. Any second I expected to get asked what the hell I was doing in a building like that! |
| p.134 - Cmon. Lets get the hell outa here. |
| p. 136 - My mother aint said a f**kin word about you. |
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| p. 139 - Yknow one of the good things about queer sex, Les
? Nobody gets pregnant. |
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| p. 140 - Tolands wearin nigger clothes! |
| p. 142 - But it didnt seem to have bothered Les, so I figured, what the hell!
No more tomfoolery, now. Its time to haul our decadent a**es out into the cold cruel world! |
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| p. 143 - He pulled a reefer out of his pocket an we spent ten minutes havin the sexiest time two men ever had with their pants on. |
| p. 144 - D**n! |
| p. 145 - Or maybe the paradoxical other news about my having knocked up Ginger was jamming her circuits.
But you shouldve seen Melanie freak out the first time the word abortion crossed my lips! Toland Polk I wont hear of you killin that baby. |
| p. 147 - But youd wanna be able to sleep with men once in a while
? Well
thats where bein experimental comes in. |
| p. 152 - Noone, kick the rest of yer used clothes behind my chair if ya gotta, but not yer fu**in underwear. ..Even Clayfield had its social circles where a good music teachers prowess could outweigh his status as a queer. |
| p. 157 - I guess you find that a real quaint notion: a flamin faggot like me thinkin he could be a good father!
S**t! ..Im not! Im not! Hes a ba**ard! |
| p. 158 - They cant have my d**n dog, too! |
| p. 159 - Sh**fire, Riley! You aint exactly a walkin advertisement for the institution of marriage! |
| p. 163 - Im a nigger-loving queer! |
| p. 164 - So look at me, d**mit! |
| p. 166 - They like what Cuthel Noones queer son has to offer!
Those people over there by the door think your faggot firstborn is loveable!
Nows your chance not to be a ba**ard anymore. |
| p. 167 - But no way was Cuthel Noone gonna fork over dough on the spot to a queer son whod just called him a bastard!
That was kid stuff compared to the glimpse I could have given the old bastard of his faggot offspring from hell! |
| p. 168 - The only thing that wouldve made me prouder would be if Id dribbled the ol ba**ard around the room like a basketball an drop-kicked him out the window! |
| p. 169 - You could see that Riley was getting more and more pissed.
The man is paralyzed! That aint no f**kin joke.
B**tard or not, it sounds like the guys bein put through a pretty hefty wringer for his sins!
An here comes some wild man stormin into your house, screamin bout what a sh**head you are! Ygot no way to say youre sorry! Ygot no way to give him the finger! Youre way past bein able to make amends for past failings! D**n if I cant muster some sympathy for a man in that fix. |
| p. 171 - Suppose hes not willin? Can you just accept that, leave the f**ker behind, an go on with your life? |
| p. 174 - D**ned if I know!
Its the fag from Trinity. ..Were leavin folks! Dont give this crazy son of a b**ch a second thought! |
| p. 175 - Off the property, faggot! ..Go**amn it, man! Shut the f**k up! Youre a lunatic, Sammy! S**t! Tryin to yell out our f**kin address! |
| p. 178 - Nigger Loving Queer |
| p. 180 -
Like a carcass on a go**amn meat hook
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| p. 181 - Nigger Loving Queer |
| p. 185 - Yes. God Da**it! Im furious at you! |
| p. 186 - An Ive let you down by bein a faggot, an
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| p. 187 - Shed sure as hell dislodged that log from her throat! |
| p. 188 - An Sammy, dont think I cant feel you up there fidgetin an twiddlin your fluffy new wings an wonderin when the hell this queen is gonna get on with her act! |
| p. 192 - Nigger Loving Queer.
while Toland Polk, though reputedly a Nigger Lover as well, didnt appear to be a queer one? |
| p. 193 - And Ill be da**ed if I can recall what any of them were in particular except for these four: |
| p. 194 - But when we got there, she was such an emotional basketcase that we d**n near forgot to eat.
Then all hell broke loose
If a queers baby dont qualify as some kinda devils spawn, I dont know what does! |
| p. 196 - But da**ed if our paths didnt cross five years later, in San Franciscos Golden Gate Park. Far fu**in out! |
| p. 198 - I told whoever came on the l-line that the race-mixer whod just b-been on tv was as queer as a three-dollar bill
But with me puttin out the w-word that he was a queer an a local ch-church organist to boot
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| p. 199 - Hed just behaved like a garden-variety bigot asshole. Looking at it in retrospect, its plain that I wasnt giving the ba**ard any quarter because what hed said to me had hit way too close to home! If I hadnt been too chickens**t to let him know that I was as gay as he was
whether or not either of our d**ks got hard
without being reminded of the faggot whod once popped up on the six oclock news
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| p. 201 - Ybet yer a** I am. |
| p. 206 - Did Ivy ever go on f**kin red alert when I pulled my Kodak out!
Enough already with the d**ned snow and ice! |
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| ABOUT THE AUTHOR |
| Howard Cruse, creator of Barefootz and Wendel and the founding editor of Gay Comix, is an Alabama preachers kid who counted The Baptist Student among his cartoon markets while still in high school. Since then his comic strips and cartoon illustrations have appeared in dozens of national magazines, underground comic books, and anthologies as well as in four book collections of his own. Since 1979 he has shared his life in New York City with book editor and political activist Ed Sedarbaum. |